Monogamy isn’t dead. There are plenty of people who are
stillmonogamous. There is a difference between a monogamous person, a polyamorous person, and an unfaithful person. In dating (specifically), a monogamous person is in a relationship with one person at one time. A poly- person is in a relationship with multiple people at one time. A cheater can be in a relationship or married.You can be an unfaithful person in any type of relationship. Cheaters exist in monogamous relationships, polyamorous relationships, and polyexclusive relationships. Yes, even polyamorous and polyexclusive relationships, because relationships of any kind have boundaries. Beyond the emotional consequences, unfaithfulness runs the risk of spreading STI’s.
The thing that a lot of people don’t seem to understand is that nothing can determine faithfulness or unfaithfulness other than the person themselves. Gender and sexual orientation seem to be the top two reasons which people blame unfaithfulness on, which is ridiculous. Often, men are portrayed as cheating pigs and women as naive and/or faithful, and bisexuals as indecisive and always considering the opposite sex of their current partner. The reality is many women and those who don’t fall into the gender binary are just as unfaithful and you can be straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual, etc. and still be unfaithful.
There is nothing you can blame cheating for other than that individual themselves.
Being a monogamous person in a relationship is not the same as being a person in a monogamous relationship. A monogamous relationship is a unit. Both people in that relationship are understanding of the faith and trust that relationship is built upon and are not going to break that. This is why it’s good to talk about (the options of) having a purely monogamous relationship (or having an open one) and about the level of trust in your relationship.
(The level of trust in a relationship is just as important in any relationship, monogamous or poly-. Let’s get that straight too.)
Do not equate persons in seemingly monogamous relationships to faithful persons. And do not equate cheaters or poly- persons to ‘sluts’ and ‘whores’. Not all people like to be called ‘sluts’ and not all cheaters are ‘sluts’.
Also, monogamy > polyamory/polyfidelity seems to be a common misconception. You are not a better person because you are a monogamous person. Got it?
There’s a lot more but I think I covered the good parts?
this! boundaries are individual and personal and if people set boundaries you respect them in the relationship.
i never looked at it that way before either, that there is a difference between a monogamous person in a relationship and a person in a monogamous relationship. I guess I consider myself to be polyamorous but I am in a monogamous relationship and respect the boundaries my partner set.
(Source: homoarigato)
