Artist: Soey Milk
ileolai asked: from what i understand race play involves white people and PoC acting out slavery fantasies? i feel like i have no place to defend *or* disparage it as a white person, if it's consensual...
killingkitties asked: Race play in my experience is what is says on the tin. I know of an example where a man of colour asked a dominant white female to verbal abuse him usual explicit racial slurs whilst physically abusing him. It was entirely instigated by him, and they negotiated it before hand. Their mistake however was to then play in 'public' at a party. YKIOK went out the window. For some POC is is a kink. It's not my place to judge that.
Okay. As long as it is CONSENSUAL play between adults, race related kink is fine.
I wasn’t aware that it was even a thing (I was ignorant of it, not bad just a lack of knowledge) and I now understand that race play/kink can be a consensual thing. So of course I’m fine with it.
Earlier I was merely trying to figure out if people were referencing fetishization. Like, there’s a difference between consensual play and wanting to fuck someone of a certain race because they look “exotic” or some shit like that.
bratsub asked: I think of myself as kink critical. Because nothing exists in a vacuum. So even the most "open" minded of kinky people still have unchecked -isms. Just like most of Western society values eurocentric beauty standards that affects BDSM as well. How many pictures of thin or toned white cis bodies do you see reblogged on BDSM tumblrs? I'm still trying to come figure out how to navigate kink scene as a queer fat Black woman. Men are sexism. White people can be racist. Being kinky doesn't erase that
I absolutely agree.
When I was 10, I saw
my first episode of Law & Order, SVU
a woman screamed
and her pretty pink dress ripped
the scene cut to black but then
she sat in a station
hair mussed and mascara running
and she seemed broken
and that’s when I began to prepare
for the inevitable.
When I was 12, my sister got
hit on by a boy
he looked at her funny
and I couldn’t forget
how his eyes tracked
her pink t-shirt
around the room
he reminded me of the predators
that I saw on nature documentaries
and for the first time, my strong sister
seemed like the prey.
When I was 13, my auntie bought me
a pretty pink can of pepper spray
she told me if my daddy comes at me
or any other boy
I spray hard and fast
kick them in the balls
and then run run run
as fast as I can.
I flicked the safety switch
and clipped the can
to my purse.
When I was 14, I went to a sleepover
and met a boy named Jake
Jake was 18 and had tattoos
he smelled funny and his eyes
didn’t leave me all night.
He waited for me in the dark
outside of the bathroom
and I sprinted fast fast fast
and hid under a blanket.
Clutching my pretty pink can
and flicking the safety
(I didn’t sleep that night)
When I turned 15, my mom took me
to buy some new bras.
I had to go up a cup
and I stared at the pretty pink tags
and told her that I knew
Knew that some day
that cup size
was going to get me in trouble.
She looked sad when she said
that it wouldn’t be the cup
but the men who’d take my body as an invitation.
(I didn’t see the difference)
No one ever talks
about the pretty pink can
on my purse.
No one ever mentions it
or asks about it
And I never get pulled aside in stores.
People’s eyes flick over it
But what I want to know is;
How is it okay
for a kid like me
to have a weapon?
I’ll tell you how.
It’s because I’m a girl.
We’re trained since we hit puberty
for a war that no one wants to talk about
trained for horrible things
that people claim never happen
Or worse- “They happen for a reason”
we are told to be careful
we are told not to take walks after it’s dark
we are told to fight back to be compliant to yell and to stay silent
but nothing you tell us
I don’t know how old I’ll be
when all of that advice
will be needed.
I don’t know how old I’ll be
when I’ll take a shower
and see blood mixing with white
running down the inside of my legs
swirling into a pretty pink cream
while I try to un-break myself.
I don’t when it’ll happen,
But I know that it will.
tomorrow or years from now-
and I’m scared.
At least we girls look pretty in pink.
I’ve had a pink pepper spray since I took my first bus ride alone at 17.
663 notes? Let’s get to 700!
Look closely. They’re holding hands. Love this.
Still one of my most favorite photos.
I really like that they both have wings and just aww this is so beautiful.
Soooo I just came back from a sex toy workshop at my college. It was pretty fun (and funny), and taught me a bunch about sex toys, how to care for them, and how some of them are not really that great for your body. :<
Thought I’d share some things I learned from the workshop.
Thanks to umbrellabird69 for linking me to this. I’m so curious now!
ileolai asked: 99.9% of the "kink critical" commentary I've seen though is kink shaming nonsense that likens kinky people to pedophiles. so i dont trust people that self identify as "kink critical".
I’m certainly wary of someone who would identify themselves as “kink critical” as well. I think being critical in a sound way, not an “ew that makes me uncomfortable so it’s weird/gross” way is an essential difference.
bratsub asked: I think race kinks involve fetishization and also race play.
both of those sounds racist so…
lumosmax-x-xima asked: okay so kink shaming is (obviously) bad. but what about being kink/sex critical? like being critical of bdsm or rape fantasies or race kinks because those actions/communities are /sometimes/ problematic and the actions don't always stay within the bedroom? clearly some kinks are influenced by/influence society as a whole and therefore we need to be critical of them (while still being sex positive) thoughts?
Yea I think bing critical is okay and definitely necessary. It’s shaming that’s the problem. Although I’ve never heard of race kinks? Is that like racial/ethnic fetishization? I just don’t know how that could be consensual but I guess maybe it could be, I wouldn’t have any idea as a white person.